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(nice answer essellar) You get metal-mouth-mickey! I insert a giant paperclip

2830 items I need to pack (I'm moving house on Friday!)

You get Corey's hairbrush (if such a thing exists :P) I insert the 'insert' button on my keyboard (so rarely used nowadays)

2826 reasons to lie out in the sun today...

2824 chickens about to be eaten...

You get a boat race I insert a university

2812 is a thousand years after Napoleon was defeated by the Russians

You get nipped on the nose I insert some hosiery

You get the Batmobile! Result!! I insert my current salary (hoping for a raise but can't see it happening...)

2808 reasons why micahraney has ants all over him (reason 1 - he covered himself in honey)

You get Mr T, who as the new representative of Microsoft's anti piracy campaign, bursts out of the front of the machine shouting "Don't make me mad", while smashing your face into a pulp. Fool. I re-insert Mr T back where he belongs...

2787 is not the meaning of life

You get a caffeine hit I insert a carefree life

2784 yee-haw!

Nice dog

You get a dorado. I insert Annette

You get PC Plod I insert The Law (stop in the name of it)

You get x-men I insert lactose

You get Zac Effron (shame!) I insert teletubbyland

almost correct (a missing 'm') :P I guess somebody who is hungry right now