Official statement of what's currently going on and why it is taking such long time to get everyone back up:
Unfortunately, we suffered a failure of our underlying storage system due to a bug in the cloud software we use. This has caused data on the /home partition to become corrupted. We keep multiple daily backups using Acronis of all our systems and immediately implemented our disaster recovery plan to restore the lost data. We have run into another bug that is preventing us from restoring the full set of data all at once, which is the normal and fastest method of restoration. At this time we're stuck doing manual restores of batches of files, which is much much slower. We have this issue escalated to the highest levels at Acronis and hope to have a resolution soon. We have full backups of all data, it's just a matter of getting it back on the servers in place, which we're working on as fast as we can to get done.
This has never happened in over 10 years of being in business and we certainly expect it to not happen in the future.