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You demonstrate Spontaneous Human Combustion

Indeed I am. I guess someone who has done a paper-round

You inhale the poison fumes and die

You get a sturgeon! I insert sushi

1793 ;====) long nose

1789 - hehe, lambs!

You get a traffic cone I insert a roadblock

I tie you to a chair in an empty room with Britney Spears playing at 100dB, and you rightly commit suicide by holding your breath.

Nope, I was too cool! I guess somebody who plays a musical intrument

Then there is a brand new big bang, causing you to be blown into atoms

Nope, I've defected to Chrome for most of my browsing, just use ff for the plugins I guess somebody who is going out this week

1787 - it was four more than it should have been

Nope, (unless I'm on photoshop) I guess someone who has used ANSI.SYS back in the MSDOS days

...but unfortunately you have an unexplained sensitivity to neutrinos, and as you get bombarded by billions from the sun and the rest of the universe (not even your lead wall can protect you), you disintegrate.

You get the South Seas, and a ship in which to sail them... I insert a devious pirate

1785 - the numbers have gone a bit wrong here...

Not really I guess someone who went to the pub this week

You forgot about the sharks...you never make it to the shore

You get turned into an orange beacon! I insert a compass

1782 is getting harder to think of original ideas