Good Joke

[ichwar]

Here's another one from me... I know is lame, but it's about computers, so... oh well...

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Whoa, that's a great joke! I like that.
Edit:

I went to the doctor and he said, "Rodney, I have some good news and some bad news."

I said, "Doc, I've had a tough day. Just give me the good news."

He said, "OK. They named a disease after you." :naughty:

lol
Edit:

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

I like that one too! That man must of been crazy... :facesjump
Edit:

Yes i did study algebra. I'm doing Degree in Computer Science and Computer Mathematics anyways.
i don't like the fact that u said that formula proves nothing other than 1 x 2 = 2. because it does not say 1x2 = 2

im sorry i shoould have said that it converges to 2.
the formula of sum to infinity of a geometric series is

If |r| <1 then r^n approaches to 0 as n approaches to infinity .
It follows that S(inf) approaches to a/(1-r) as n tends to infinity.

therefore S(inf) of a geometric series is S(inf) = a/(1-r) for |r|<1

Infinite geometric series converges and has the sum S(inf) = a/(1-r) if |r|<1

If you want the formulas to proof, it is as belowExtracted from wikipedia) i hope you understand what those expressions mean unless u want me to explain them

since

Then:

Therefore S(inf) = a/(1-r)

Peace.

Honestly, I'm doing Geometry right now, so I don't understand what all those symbols mean. I'd appreciate it if you would try and explain them to me, unless, if you don't think you could, then that's fine.

But I think that Zen-r stated in plain English what we're trying to argue over in mathematical terms: That since you can't reach infinity, you can't reach 2, and that if it were possible to reach infinity, then you would reach 2.0.
Do you agree with that?
Edit:
Alright, now I've really got to post another joke. I'm racking my brains and I'll post one as soon as I can get another good one!

 

[zen-r]

Don't wear out that multi-quote button! Lol

 

[ichwar]

Don't wear out that multi-quote button! Lol

No fear of that, it refreshes each time I reload the page.

 

[shangyi]

Whoa, that's a great joke! I like that.
Edit:


lol
Edit:


I like that one too! That man must of been crazy... :facesjump
Edit:


Honestly, I'm doing Geometry right now, so I don't understand what all those symbols mean. I'd appreciate it if you would try and explain them to me, unless, if you don't think you could, then that's fine.

I'll be glad to explain.As i stated before:
the formula of sum to infinity of a geometric series is

If |r| <1 then r^n approaches to 0 as n approaches to infinity .
It follows that S(inf) approaches to a/(1-r) as n tends to infinity.

therefore S(inf) of a geometric series is S(inf) = a/(1-r) for |r|<1

Infinite geometric series converges and has the sum S(inf) = a/(1-r) if |r|<1

If you want the formulas to proof, it is as belowExtracted from wikipedia)

as u all know, sigma, denoted as E, is the sum of a certain set of numbers.
Because 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 +1/8 +... is a geometric progression, we can say that each term can be found using the formula ar^(n-1), where a is the first term and r is the common ration between 2 numbers that are in sequence.
Assuming the progression is a finite number, we can find the sum of the n terms of the progression using the formula

Separate the equation, you get

n, as stated above is the number of terms of the geometric progression. since it is infinite, we use limits to find the equation of the sum of infinite terms.
As limit of function

, where n tends to infinity, it is shown as

since

you get

therefore:

This means:
The sum of infinite n terms are denoted in

were ar^k means the value of each term, together it means the sum of the inf terms.

Therefore S(inf) = a/(1-r)

Peace.

 

[Parsa44]

lol some jokes here made me look like a idiot by laughing out loud.

 

[zen-r]

lol some jokes here made me look like a idiot by laughing out loud.

Join the club ! :lupie:

 

[zen-r]

shangyi, your mathematical proof was very good. Now could you please mathematically prove that

"the answer to life, the universe and everything" = 42.
(If you search the quoted phrase, you will see that even the Google Calculator will give you 42!)

OK. Here's a bad joke. Very bad. In fact, it's so bad it's almost good.


One day a young man was driving down the road in his new red convertible.

Whilst taking a corner at 50mph, a small fluffy rabbit hopped in front of his car.

As the man swerved to avoid it, the rabbit also swerved and was run over.

The man jumped out of his car and started crying "OH-MY-GOD... OH-MY-GOD!!!!"

Just then a blonde drives up, and asks him what's wrong. When he tells her, she says, "Oh don't worry, I can fix that."

She went to her car, pulled out a can, and then proceeded to spray the rabbit with it.

As if by magic, the rabbit instantly comes alive and hops away, but every five feet it turns back to wave at him, before finally disappearing into the forrest.

The guy is amazed and says, "how on earth did you do that?"

The blonde just tosses him the can and drives off.

The can has a big label on it which clearly states "Hair Spray: Guaranteed to bring your hair back to life and create a permanent wave."

 

[ichwar]

shangyi, your mathematical proof was very good. Now could you please mathematically prove that

"the answer to life, the universe and everything" = 42.
(If you search the quoted phrase, you will see that even the Google Calculator will give you 42!)

OK. Here's a bad joke. Very bad. In fact, it's so bad it's almost good.


One day a young man was driving down the road in his new red convertible.

Whilst taking a corner at 50mph, a small fluffy rabbit hopped in front of his car.

As the man swerved to avoid it, the rabbit also swerved and was run over.

The man jumped out of his car and started crying "OH-MY-GOD... OH-MY-GOD!!!!"

Just then a blonde drives up, and asks him what's wrong. When he tells her, she says, "Oh don't worry, I can fix that."

She went to her car, pulled out a can, and then proceeded to spray the rabbit with it.

As if by magic, the rabbit instantly comes alive and hops away, but every five feet it turns back to wave at him, before finally disappearing into the forrest.

The guy is amazed and says, "how on earth did you do that?"

The blonde just tosses him the can and drives off.

The can has a big label on it which clearly states "Hair Spray: Guaranteed to bring your hair back to life and create a permanent wave."

lol
Edit:

I'll be glad to explain.As i stated before:
the formula of sum to infinity of a geometric series is

If |r| <1 then r^n approaches to 0 as n approaches to infinity .
It follows that S(inf) approaches to a/(1-r) as n tends to infinity.

therefore S(inf) of a geometric series is S(inf) = a/(1-r) for |r|<1

Infinite geometric series converges and has the sum S(inf) = a/(1-r) if |r|<1

If you want the formulas to proof, it is as belowExtracted from wikipedia)

as u all know, sigma, denoted as E, is the sum of a certain set of numbers.
Because 1 + 1/2 + 1/4 +1/8 +... is a geometric progression, we can say that each term can be found using the formula ar^(n-1), where a is the first term and r is the common ration between 2 numbers that are in sequence.
Assuming the progression is a finite number, we can find the sum of the n terms of the progression using the formula

Separate the equation, you get

n, as stated above is the number of terms of the geometric progression. since it is infinite, we use limits to find the equation of the sum of infinite terms.
As limit of function

, where n tends to infinity, it is shown as

since

you get

therefore:

This means:
The sum of infinite n terms are denoted in

were ar^k means the value of each term, together it means the sum of the inf terms.

Therefore S(inf) = a/(1-r)

Peace.

First, if I remember aright, the demonator is r-1, not 1-r
Secondly, I didn't get most of that still. But let me try and put my thoughts into english words instead of mathematical figures.
If you have 2 cookies, and you follow the pattern: 1, 1/2, 1/4, 1/8, etc.. the first cookie would 1
you would break the second cookie in half, and one of those pieces would the 1/2, you would then break the other half into half, you would add one of those 1/4s to the growing stack of cookie pieces, the other one you would break in half again to get 2 1/8 pieces, one would go with the rest, and the other you would break in half again. And so on, and so on, to infinity, you keep breaking the piece in half into eternity, you would always have the other half left, no matter how small that 'other half' is, the growing stack of cookie pieces isn't equal to 2.0 cookies, and it never will be if you never add that 'other half' to it. Do you see what I'm trying to say?

 

[zen-r]

..First, if I remember aright, the demonator is r-1, not 1-r...

Hehe.

... isn't equal to 2.0 cookies, and it never will be if you never add that 'other half' to it.....

But it will equal 2, when you have the infinite number together at once, as stated in the original joke. You made a good analogy, though.

How come you're still puzzling over this one? I thought we'd reached a consensus on it by now. Careful you don't alarm Criptex - you wouldn't want him to have nightmares about his mean maths teacher!

 

[ichwar]

Hehe.

Oops... I didn't do too well in spelling.

But it will equal 2, when you have the infinite number together at once, as stated in the original joke. You made a good analogy, though.

How come you're still puzzling over this one? I thought we'd reached a consensus on it by now.

Well, someone here still thinks his mathematical equations prove that you can get 2.0.
Edit:
Btw, we need another joke here. I've got one:

Moses was standing in an airport when Bush walked by on his way to terminal. Moses turned away as Bush walked by. Bush stopped and asked Moses why he didn't acknowledge him and didn't he know that he was the president?
Bush replied: "Last time I spoke to a bush, I starved in the wilderness for 40 years."

Ok, not too funny.

 

[shangyi]

lol
Edit:


First, if I remember aright, the demonator is r-1, not 1-r
Secondly, I didn't get most of that still. But let me try and put my thoughts into english words instead of mathematical figures.

Well, someone here still thinks his mathematical equations prove that you can get 2.0.

Im sorry but did you even read the statements? its 1-r for |r|<1. get it? if it was r-1 i would get a negative number. get it? and you dont go around saying if you remember aright.. you should check books or the internet for the correct formula. its 100% accurate that a/1-r.

Firstly i did say it was 2 but i changed to the appropriate term converges to 2.

This can be seen by this very simple C program

#include <stdio.h>
#include <math.h>
int main()
{
	int i;
	double sum=0;

	for(i=1;i<99;i++)
	{

		sum = sum + pow(0.5, i-1);
		printf("sum = %f ", sum);
		
	}
	printf("sum = %f\n", sum);
}

 

[zen-r]

Hey shangyi, at least I'm with you on this. Don't let ichwar stress you out, he could be doing it on purpose! (turning the topic of this thread from "Good Joke" to "Evil Joke/wind-up"!)

Did you see the re-edited version of my post here? .... http://forums.x10hosting.com/off-topic/93714-good-joke-6.html#post516200

I thought this summarised the problem & solution quite well in plain English, & ichwar seemed to agree with us at this point. It now seems clear that ichwar is still having trouble with the concept of having an infinite number of something, even though we know that in both mathematics, & in the framework of the original joke, it can & did exist.

If it makes life easier for you ichwar, we could always ignore the maths & infinity completely & go a different route.....

If each pint served is half as small as the last one, there would come a time when the liquid couldn't be divided any further, because it had reached the smallest particle possible. To try & split the atom would have created a nuclear explosion, & so for safety's sake, the mathematicians & barman decided to "round-off" the number at this point!

 

[shangyi]

Hey shangyi, at least I'm with you on this. Don't let ichwar stress you out, he could be doing it on purpose! (turning the topic of this thread from "Good Joke" to "Evil Joke/wind-up"!)

Did you see the re-edited version of my post here? .... http://forums.x10hosting.com/off-topic/93714-good-joke-6.html#post516200

I thought this summarised the problem & solution quite well in plain English, & ichwar seemed to agree with us at this point. It now seems clear that ichwar is still having trouble with the concept of having an infinite number of something, even though we know that in both mathematics, & in the framework of the original joke, it can & did exist.

If it makes life easier for you ichwar, we could always ignore the maths & infinity completely & go a different route.....

If each pint served is half as small as the last one, there would come a time when the liquid couldn't be divided any further, because it had reached the smallest particle possible. To try & split the atom would have created a nuclear explosion, & so for safety's sake, the mathematicians & barman decided to "round-off" the number at this point!

haha you're quite right!

Anyway i have jokes to share with, extracted from readers digest

For his birthday we gave our three-year-old son a Darth Vader costume. He put it on excitedly and told my husband in his best Darth Vader voice: "Daddy, I am your father"

 

[goldblue]

hee hee

 

[Teensweb]

lol, nice ichwar.

Mozart Beyond the Grave
from Joke of the Day
When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."
Edit:
No, wait, I got a better one:

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company
from Joke of the Day

An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.

Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

Its' a nice joke allright but use physics mate, when the dog gets a shock, the circuit is completed through its body. So its senseless!

 

[zen-r]

haha you're quite right!

Anyway i have jokes to share with, extracted from readers digest

For his birthday we gave our three-year-old son a Darth Vader costume. He put it on excitedly and told my husband in his best Darth Vader voice: "Daddy, I am your father"

:biggthump

A butcher is leaning on his counter toward the close of day when a small dog with a basket hanging from its mouth comes pushing through the door.

"An' what is this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.

"You stupid dog." As he reaches down to clout the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.

The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best ground beef. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.

The small dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops it on the scale with his thumb.

"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"

Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it up, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket.

The butcher is quite impressed & decides to follow the pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise building, pushes the elevator button, enters the elevator, and then pushes the button for the 14th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and smartly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog.

"Hey, what are you doing? That's a really smart dog you've got there," comments the butcher.

"Nah, he's a stupid dog" comes the reply - "that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key."

 

[ichwar]

If each pint served is half as small as the last one, there would come a time when the liquid couldn't be divided any further, because it had reached the smallest particle possible. To try & split the atom would have created a nuclear explosion, & so for safety's sake, the mathematicians & barman decided to "round-off" the number at this point!

Right, if we work that way, it is neccessary to round off eventually. But I'm saying that if it were possible to keep on splitting pieces of atoms to infinity, without getting explosions, then you would never get exactly two because you'd always have that last little bit of atom that you are going to split into half again. That's all I'm trying to say. If you others don't want to talk about this, let me know... I don't want to turn this from a "good joke" into a "Evil Joke/wind-up"!

 

[zen-r]

Right, if we work that way, it is neccessary to round off eventually. But I'm saying that if it were possible to keep on splitting pieces of atoms to infinity, without getting explosions, then you would never get exactly two because you'd always have that last little bit of atom that you are going to split into half again. That's all I'm trying to say. If you others don't want to talk about this, let me know... I don't want to turn this from a "good joke" into a "Evil Joke/wind-up"!

Lol. To continue your (not a) wind-up.....

But all you are in effect saying is that if one had to do something to infinity (in this case, keep halving the pint) then you would never reach an end to it (ie. reach 2.0). Which is rather obvious, since that is the definition of infinity!

This equation is actually different to what you are debating, because it already contains infinity on one side of the equation (ie. an infinite number of mathematicians). therefore 2.0 (pints) IS on the other side of the equation.

Q.E.D.

And (as Monty Python would say) Now for Something Completely Different ;

2 tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one at the back reached out with his tongue, & licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned & said, "Hey, Cut it out." The rear tiger apologized, & they continued on their way.

About 5 minutes later, it happened again. The front tiger turned, growling, "I said stop it." The rear tiger again apologized, & they continued.

Another 5 minutes passed, & again the front tiger felt the unwanted tongue. The front tiger turned, giving the rear tiger a ferocious glare, angrily hissing, "What is it with you?"

The rear tiger replied, "I'm sorry - I really didn't mean to offend you. But I just ate a lawyer & I'm trying to get the nasty taste out of my mouth!"

 

[ichwar]

Lol. To continue your (not a) wind-up.....

But all you are in effect saying is that if one had to do something to infinity (in this case, keep halving the pint) then you would never reach an end to it (ie. reach 2.0). Which is rather obvious, since that is the definition of infinity!

This equation is actually different to what you are debating, because it already contains infinity on one side of the equation (ie. an infinite number of mathematicians). therefore 2.0 (pints) IS on the other side of the equation.

Q.E.D.

And (as Monty Python would say) Now for Something Completely Different ;

2 tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one at the back reached out with his tongue, & licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned & said, "Hey, Cut it out." The rear tiger apologized, & they continued on their way.

About 5 minutes later, it happened again. The front tiger turned, growling, "I said stop it." The rear tiger again apologized, & they continued.

Another 5 minutes passed, & again the front tiger felt the unwanted tongue. The front tiger turned, giving the rear tiger a ferocious glare, angrily hissing, "What is it with you?"

The rear tiger replied, "I'm sorry - I really didn't mean to offend you. But I just ate a lawyer & I'm trying to get the nasty taste out of my mouth!"

lol

I can't think of any jokes right now...

 

[Teensweb]

Why dont u put two on the right hand side of the equation (surely its possible to reach two in real life)?
Furthermore- you've to accept the existence of infinity in real world (if you accept that this world is real) because if universe exists, its radius is infinity! And the radius of a straight line can also be defined as infinity!