Good Joke
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zen-r
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I'm out of jokes pretty much.
But I've got one more:
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
I'll give the answer later after a couple of people make their guesses!
Because he saw ichwar the penguin on the other side?
hermitobserver
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He wanted to get to the other side! I WIN!
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Good guesses.
Now here's the answer: there's no right or wrong answer!
But check this out: http://www.bored.com/chickenjoke/
Now here's the answer: there's no right or wrong answer!
But check this out: http://www.bored.com/chickenjoke/
zen-r
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OK, here's one to keep ichwar busy.
Not so much a joke, as a money making tip .....
Jimmy, a street-wise city boy, moved out into the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100. The farmer promised to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up with his tractor and trailer and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey has died."
"Well, just return my money to me" Jimmy said.
"Sorry, I can't do that" said the farmer, "I've already spent it."
"OK then, just unload the donkey" said Jimmy.
"What'cha gonna do with him?" asked the farmer.
"I'm going to raffle him off" Jimmy replied.
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" the farmer exclaimed.
"Of course I can" replied Jimmy. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A few weeks later, the farmer bumped into Jimmy again and asked, "So, what happened with the dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 a piece and made a profit of £898.00" explained Jimmy.
"But didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.
"Just the guy who won" Jimmy proudly replied, "So, I gave him his £2 back."
Not so much a joke, as a money making tip
.....Jimmy, a street-wise city boy, moved out into the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for £100. The farmer promised to deliver the donkey the next day.
The next morning, the farmer drove up with his tractor and trailer and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The donkey has died."
"Well, just return my money to me" Jimmy said.
"Sorry, I can't do that" said the farmer, "I've already spent it."
"OK then, just unload the donkey" said Jimmy.
"What'cha gonna do with him?" asked the farmer.
"I'm going to raffle him off" Jimmy replied.
"You can't raffle off a dead donkey!" the farmer exclaimed.
"Of course I can" replied Jimmy. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he is dead."
A few weeks later, the farmer bumped into Jimmy again and asked, "So, what happened with the dead donkey?"
"I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 a piece and made a profit of £898.00" explained Jimmy.
"But didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.
"Just the guy who won" Jimmy proudly replied, "So, I gave him his £2 back."
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zen-r
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zen-r
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In honour of Brandon's new 4-wheeled mobility - http://forums.x10hosting.com/off-topic/95867-oh-yea.html - here are a few driving jokes ;
WIFE: "I'm having trouble with the car. I think it has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you, the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer & an x10.forum Computer Engineer were driving down the road in an old car.
The car then juddered, lurched forward, & finally slowed to a complete halt. It refused to start.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a cam rod has broken."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a nasty flash and now something is wrong with the high voltage ignition system."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered towards the end, I don't think the engine's getting an adequate fuel supply."
All three turned to the x10.forum Computer Engineer & asked, "What do you think?"
The x10.forum Computer Engineer scratched his head & said, "It's easy! I think we should all get out & then get back in again."
You know Brandon needs a new car when.........
He pulls over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind him.
He has to go to a repair centre every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
He accidentally drives into a junkyard, drives out, and get accused of stealing.
The Blue Book lists his car under "Health Risk."
The only thing holding on his rear bumper is the "Bush/Quayle 1988" sticker.
He returns to his car and finds someone has broken in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armour before parking his car.
Evel Kneivel is too scared to accept a free lift.
WIFE: "I'm having trouble with the car. I think it has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you, the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
------------------------------------------------
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer & an x10.forum Computer Engineer were driving down the road in an old car.
The car then juddered, lurched forward, & finally slowed to a complete halt. It refused to start.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a cam rod has broken."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a nasty flash and now something is wrong with the high voltage ignition system."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered towards the end, I don't think the engine's getting an adequate fuel supply."
All three turned to the x10.forum Computer Engineer & asked, "What do you think?"
The x10.forum Computer Engineer scratched his head & said, "It's easy! I think we should all get out & then get back in again."
------------------------------------------------
You know Brandon needs a new car when.........
He pulls over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind him.
He has to go to a repair centre every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
He accidentally drives into a junkyard, drives out, and get accused of stealing.
The Blue Book lists his car under "Health Risk."
The only thing holding on his rear bumper is the "Bush/Quayle 1988" sticker.
He returns to his car and finds someone has broken in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armour before parking his car.
Evel Kneivel is too scared to accept a free lift.
Please click my Reputation button
(at the corner of this post) & make me -it costs you nothing!
If I've traded services/credits with you, please remember to leave iTrader Feedback. Thanks.
-it costs you nothing!If I've traded services/credits with you, please remember to leave iTrader Feedback. Thanks.
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In honour of Brandon's new 4-wheeled mobility - http://forums.x10hosting.com/off-topic/95867-oh-yea.html - here are a few driving jokes ;
WIFE: "I'm having trouble with the car. I think it has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous."
WIFE: "I tell you, the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
WIFE: "In the pool."
------------------------------------------------
One day, a Mechanical Engineer, an Electrical Engineer, a Chemical Engineer & an x10.forum Computer Engineer were driving down the road in an old car.
The car then juddered, lurched forward, & finally slowed to a complete halt. It refused to start.
The Mechanical Engineer said, "I think a cam rod has broken."
The Electrical Engineer said, "I think there was a nasty flash and now something is wrong with the high voltage ignition system."
The Chemical Engineer said, "The way it sputtered towards the end, I don't think the engine's getting an adequate fuel supply."
All three turned to the x10.forum Computer Engineer & asked, "What do you think?"
The x10.forum Computer Engineer scratched his head & said, "It's easy! I think we should all get out & then get back in again."
------------------------------------------------
You know Brandon needs a new car when.........
He pulls over to let a fire truck go by, and it stops behind him.
He has to go to a repair centre every thousand miles to get the duct tape replaced.
He accidentally drives into a junkyard, drives out, and get accused of stealing.
The Blue Book lists his car under "Health Risk."
The only thing holding on his rear bumper is the "Bush/Quayle 1988" sticker.
He returns to his car and finds someone has broken in and left a hundred dollars and a new stereo.
The valet puts on a crash helmet and full-body armour before parking his car.
Evel Kneivel is too scared to accept a free lift.
Please click my Reputation button(at the corner of this post) & make me
If I've traded services/credits with you, please remember to leave iTrader Feedback. Thanks.
I didn't get that second one.
zen-r
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Computer engineers' first response to someone telling them that their PC is faulty is "have you tried turning it off and on again/ restarting it?".
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got it, lol.
zen-r
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It's about time for some more ;
A young man was sitting at home one evening, when his doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was stood there. The cockroach immediately threw him a hefty right uppercut, right between the eyes, and then scuttled off.
The next evening, the man was once more sat at home when the doorbell rang. Without thinking, he foolishly got up and answered the door. The cockroach was menacingly waiting there for him again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped him to the ground, before proudly strutting away.
The third evening, the man was lying carefully on his sofa, trying not to touch his bruises, when the doorbell rang. After several moments hesitation, he nervously decided to get up and answer the door. Would you believe, the 6 foot cockroach had come back for more. It swore and spat at him, then stabbed him several times before running off.
The gravely injured young man just managed to crawl to the telephone and requested an ambulance before passing out. As soon as they got there and found him, he was immediately rushed to the emergency department, where they worked all night to save his life.
Three days later, a doctor was doing his rounds and noticed that the young man had just regained consciousness. The doctor asked the man what had happened. The young man explained about the 6 foot cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near-fatal stabbing.
The doctor thought for a moment and then replied, "Ah yes, that’s right . . . there's a very nasty bug going around.”
A young man was sitting at home one evening, when his doorbell rang. When he answered the door, a 6 foot tall cockroach was stood there. The cockroach immediately threw him a hefty right uppercut, right between the eyes, and then scuttled off.
The next evening, the man was once more sat at home when the doorbell rang. Without thinking, he foolishly got up and answered the door. The cockroach was menacingly waiting there for him again. This time, it punched him, kicked him and karate chopped him to the ground, before proudly strutting away.
The third evening, the man was lying carefully on his sofa, trying not to touch his bruises, when the doorbell rang. After several moments hesitation, he nervously decided to get up and answer the door. Would you believe, the 6 foot cockroach had come back for more. It swore and spat at him, then stabbed him several times before running off.
The gravely injured young man just managed to crawl to the telephone and requested an ambulance before passing out. As soon as they got there and found him, he was immediately rushed to the emergency department, where they worked all night to save his life.
Three days later, a doctor was doing his rounds and noticed that the young man had just regained consciousness. The doctor asked the man what had happened. The young man explained about the 6 foot cockroach's attacks, culminating in the near-fatal stabbing.
The doctor thought for a moment and then replied, "Ah yes, that’s right . . . there's a very nasty bug going around.”
