I do not have an issue with secular gay marriage, yet I take offense when gay people claim that they should be given the "same" rights as everyone else and allowed to be married in a church. I believe this is a separate issue from that of gay marriage itself and yet the two are often linked together. People seem to believe that if they can get married in city hall then they should be able to get married in a church all the same. This is wrong.
Firstly, all people belong to different groups and organizations, with different beliefs and practices that its members must follow. For example, American citizens are subject to American Federal Law, while Texans are further subjected to Texas made laws, and whatever town you are in you are subjected to the local made bylaws etc. In the same way, members of the church are called to follow the moral code of conduct of that institution - whichever church it may be. Certain branches of Christianity DO allow gay marriage, in which case gay marriage is not an issue (although the marriage itself may not be recognized by whatever state the couple is in). But other branches of Christianity do not, such as Roman Catholicism, which is fine too. If you don't like it, nothing is preventing you from leaving the church and converting to another faith that DOES share your same beliefs (I.e. United). But that does not give people the right to say that Roman Catholics, or whatever faith is in question, should change their beliefs and perform ceremonies and sacraments that go against their beliefs. This is like telling an all woman's gym that their fundamental belief of excluding males is unconstitutional and that men should be allowed to work out there. If you do not follow the moral code of conduct of an institution, you do not belong to it. Just as the government has the power to deny people from performing certain acts for the public good, and to punish those who break the law, the church has the power to deny services or use punitive measures against those do not follow their moral law.
Membership to organizations (including citizenship - ask an immigrant) are a privilege and NOT an entitlement.
There is no point in asking the government to intervene, either. If a town denies a couple a marriage license in a country that allows gay marriage, then the government can intervene because that town is part of the government's organization and consequently is subjected to it's laws. But the separation of Church and State happened centuries ago - neither should have influence or jurisdiction over the other.
Food for thought,
Calvin Vandermeer.