game: kill the above user

[zen-r]

I clone ichwar with himself, & then spread a rumour that one of them said nasty things about the other. They get into an argument which escalates, & since they are well matched, end up killing each other.

 

[ichwar]

but I never fight with myself, so that only happened in zen-r's imagination. so now that there are two of me, I've got no problem running zen-r down and cutting off his head.

 

[zen-r]

But I "imagine" I'm still alive. So I put ichwar the penguin in a blender, & solve the puzzle of "What's black & white, & red/read all over?"

 

[ichwar]

but since I'm not a newspaper, I escape from the blender unscathed, and me and my clone stuff you into the blender, lock on the lid, and turn it up to high speed.

 

[zen-r]

Fortunately, I turn into such a nice fruit smoothy, that an angel grants me 3 wishes.

Firstly I wish to be alive again. Kapow!
Secondly I wish to have lots of gold treasure. Zap!
Thirdly I wish for a large piano to fall on ichwar & his clone. SPLAT!

 

[ichwar]

but we two are able to escape the falling piano by grabbing zen-r standing him up right under the path of the falling piano and then we both duck so that zen-r's head breaks the fall

 

[zen-r]

But you don't have a time machine to turn back time, & I already said that a piano fell on you, so you are dead. Dead.

Dead.

(Dead).

 

[ichwar]

exactly, we did that while the piano was falling, (those wonderful strawberries make us very fast) and that splat sound was the piano hitting YOU.

 

[zen-r]

Luckily my safety headphones broke the fall, & all the piano did was messed up my hair a bit.

I then put the headphones on ichwar & make him listen to the Smurfs, until his head explodes. I repeat this on his clone. A pathologist & various other experts confirm that the bodies are definitely that of ichwar, & he is 100% dead. :thefinger

 

[ichwar]

but, what the pathologists didn't know is that we had just finished downing another basket of those wonderful strawberries, and when those things are in our stomachs, we can't stay dead for more than 5 mins. and so we both come back to life and jump up which surprises zener so much that he gets a heart attack and dies of it. and when I mean "dies" I mean "DIES, absolutely, totally, 100 percentedly, DEAD!"

 

[zen-r]

Fortunately, I wasn't 101% dead, which I would need to be to be fully dead.

I then introduce a new strawberry virus which wipes out all strawberries in the universe, including those growing, in supermarkets, in tins etc - even in ichwar's stomach. So no more magic bloomin' strawberries!

I then place ichwar on a sheet of paper & fold it in half so that he is inside it. I then continue this folding in half procedure until ichwar & the sheet are infinitely small. I then fold it in half a few more times for good measure! Nothing left. Dead & gone!

The end (?)

 

[ichwar]

but I unfold my self Poof! there I am again. Now it's your turn to go in that sheet of paper. Poof! Gone!

 

[zen-r]

But it was rice paper, & I eat my way out.

Now I taunt ichwar with a photo of his old strawberries, which no longer exist (& can never exist again). He is so upset he pours cream over himself & feeds himself to the lions at a nearby zoo (who devour every last bit of him).

 

[ichwar]

but I still hadn't fully digested my last batch of strawberries, so I pass through the lion's system undigested, and I come out vomiting strawberries which then seed into hundreds of new strawberry plants which are resistant to all viruses. this cause's zener so much greif that he dies.

 

[zen-r]

See #1411: "even in ichwar's stomach".

Hehe, I already had that one covered. Bad luck - still dead!

 

[ichwar]

nope, those strawberries just developed an immunity to that virus. hehe

So, you're still dead.

 

[zen-r]

But you're deader than me.

 

[zubair12]

i don`t kill already dead persons...

 

[Twinkie]

I resurrect both ichwar and zenr, from multiple times with a time machine, which I made out of the genetically modified (radioactive) strawberries. This violates the X10 TOS, since only one person can own an account at a time. All the copies of zenr and ichwar fight in a bloody battle to the death over who owns their domain, and kills themselves.

 

[ichwar]

but since there were twice as many ichwars as zen-rs, (because zen-r cloned me a while ago) so the battle is two ichwars to ever zener so the ichwars kill all the zen-rs and then go and kill twinkie for ressurecting zener.