Same Sex Parents?

[Kayos]

I think there is a big diffrence in disallowing two fathers to adopt a child than disallowing somebody from a diffrent race having children.

But there is no difference. It's discrimination.

 

[Parsa44]

But there is no difference. It's discrimination.

I think research has to be done to the effects done to the child knowing they have two fathers or two mothers.

Imagine how they may feel about themselves?
They way people would feel about them?

It would certainly cause low self esteem and low self confidence.

 

[Sammonaran]

My opinion on the matter is, why stop someone from doing what they wish? I mean, seriously, take any child that has a normal (one mother and one father) family. Any child, even with that kind of family, could turn out to be gay. Being gay, however, is not a disease that one catches. For instance, being "at risk" for becoming gay makes it sound like some kind of contagion that should be wiped from the Earth. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

Secondly, the saying "Children are more at risk of becoming gay with same sex parents." That saying is a myth. If you think about it, that would be like saying any child with an abnormal family (for instance a single mom) will turn out to divorce their spouse when they get older. Not only that, but anyone that says gay people don't deserve to be parents should take a look at the news and see all the straight couples that don't even take care of their children. "God forbid gay people from getting married and raising kids. They'll actually want the children they adopt and then they'll spread like a plague!"

Personally, I am actually gay, and while I'm trying to do my best from getting my emotions into this, it's kinda hard to do. So I'll just stop right now before I say something I really don't mean. I'm sorry if I somehow offended anyone (this is actually my second post, mind you) but when I saw this, I just had to stop lurking.

 

[Steeevoe]

But there is no difference. It's discrimination.

No one can say anything without someone coming up with a reason for it to be discriminating.


Ahh omg, I've just discriminated

 

[farscapeone]

My opinion on the matter is, why stop someone from doing what they wish?

They can do what they wish wit their property or themselves but adopting a child is not something that they wish and be granted without questions. Main question here is "Is it good for a child to have same sex parents?". I think not because a lot of people are against. Just imagine how would you feel about yourself knowing that a lot of people are against your parents beliefs. It's certainly not good for your self-confidence.

 

[Kayos]

I think research has to be done to the effects done to the child knowing they have two fathers or two mothers.

Imagine how they may feel about themselves?
They way people would feel about them?

It would certainly cause low self esteem and low self confidence.

You think research had been done or you know? Please provide some evidence to back up your statements.

Also you cannot blame parents for self esteem issues. It's a very weak argument to begin with.

No one can say anything without someone coming up with a reason for it to be discriminating.

You sir are correct. To deny something to someone on the basis that they are gay is discrimination.

"Is it good for a child to have same sex parents?". I think not because a lot of people are against.

That's bad reasoning.

Just imagine how would you feel about yourself knowing that a lot of people are against your parents beliefs. It's certainly not good for your self-confidence.

Or alternatively it would be great for self confidence. It would cause you to fight for the rights of your parents.

But the whole issue with self esteem and confidence is irrelevant. Self esteem issues have existed in abundance before same sex couples and they will exist a lot longer.

To deny someone of a child because of a silly belief that they will be made fun of in school is stupid.

 

[Parsa44]

I think the only conclusion for this topic would be to ask the adopted child what they feel about having two of the same parents.

 

[totakeke]

Let's get this "straight". (No pun intended. )

You can't 'catch' the gay. You also do not become gay just from being around gay people or having gay parents. If this was true, then the opposite could be assumed to be true as well - gay people could become straight by being around straight people or having straight parents. Do you see the fallacy in logic here? If that was the case, then THERE WOULD BE NO GAY PEOPLE because our society is heterocentric - you do not see gay couples on mainstream commercials or advertising. Turn on your TV - within the first half hour you will have already seen dozens of idealized straight families or couples. The show 7th Heaven and various other TV shows do not depict stable same-sex relationships as their main theme.

And gay people are like 5% or less of the population anyway!

I'm gay, but I can see a valid point in not allowing same-sex couples to have kids. Only a man and a woman can create a child. That's a valid point to make.

However, if you're going to play that game, you can't be a hypocrite about this. If you're going to ban same-sex couples from raising kids, then you better damn start doing something about the straight parents who fail at their jobs. Otherwise you really are just discriminating.

It's like the people who voted for Prop 8 in California, but refuse to support any ballot initiative making it harder for straight people to divorce or marry. You want to protect marriage? Start by protecting straight marriage. You want to protect kids? Start by protecting the ones who are already having their lives ruined by their pathetic straight parents.

My own parents' marriage ended in divorce due to violent physical abuse by my father. My siblings and I had to go to therapy and counseling for years to get over the trauma. So I know first-hand that having straight parents doesn't necessarily mean your childhood will be "peaches and cream."

 

[stunna]

Its simply wrong. I dont consider not allowing gay parents to adopt children discrimination but doing what is right. Whats gonna happen to the world if everyone becomes gay?

 

[farscapeone]

That's bad reasoning.

Please read the explanation before you post.

Again, just imagine how would you feel about yourself (as a child) knowing that a lot of people (and classmates) are against your parents beliefs.

 

[Kayos]

Whats gonna happen to the world if everyone becomes gay?

Did you even think about that question before you wrote it or is that a real concern of yours?

Please read the explanation before you post.

Again, just imagine how would you feel about yourself (as a child) knowing that a lot of people (and classmates) are against your parents beliefs.

Kids will always make fun of kids who are different from them. That's the nature of the beast. Thinking that someone should not have a child because social norm tells them not to is still bad reasoning. The opinions of others are the last thing I'd care about and if I were gay and if I were a parent I would teach my children the necessary fundamentals to handle those types of people. Hell, when I do have children I would teach them those same fundamentals. They will get there feelings hurt, but growing up can be upsetting like that at times.

In the grand scheme of things it still is a small issue. It would most likely be tackled head on by the parents, much like it would be with heterosexual parents.

 

[Sammonaran]

Whats gonna happen to the world if everyone becomes gay?

That will never happen. You think that there has to be an extreme here. There doesn't have to be an extreme at all, the only thing that needs to happen is for straight and gay people to coexist peacefully. Otherwise, it's more than just discrimination, it's almost like genocide. Everyone that kills just because someone is gay is shallow, single-minded and thinks they're doing the world a favor by "getting rid of the garbage of society." THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE IT IS MURDER NONETHELESS! That whole question isn't even justifiable, if only for the simple fact that nobody can "become gay" or "become straight"...it's not a valid argument at all (sorry for bluntness but it just isn't).

Now my whole post just went on a tangent, so I'll get back on the original subject by saying this. If you're going to vote on an issue that has to do with children of same sex couples, it's irrelevant what anyone but the child thinks. However, just because the child might not like it, it doesn't mean the child might not think it's actually awesome and want to support his/her parents for it. It's sad how everyone jumps to the negative and never thinks of how it might benefit someone. Kids are suicidal everyday and I've heard more kids wanting to kill themselves over drugs and love more than "My parents are gay and everyone is making fun of me for it."

EDIT: I just thought of another valid point after I posted. I will agree that everyone involved must make sure the child knows what they are getting into before even asking them if they wish to be adopted. But saying that same sex couples aren't allowed to adopt flat-out doesn't even leave room for the child to approach anyone with such a proposal. If the child understands what they are getting into and doesn't care because they still want to be in such a family, whose right is it to deny the child such a thing? You tell me, seriously, if the child agrees, how can anyone deny the child if they want to be a part of such a family?

 

[cowctcat]

So what a lot of you are saying is that they shouldn't be allowed to have kids because the parents beleifs are against the mainstream opinion, corect? So by your logic Muslims and Jews in America shouldn't have kids because the majority of america is Christian. Black and asian people shouldn't be allowed to have kids in america because the majority of people are white.

And what you say about the kids having psychological problems really pisses me off. In case you didn't know, homosexuality is NOT a mental illness. It does NOT rub off onto children. And honestly why do you people try to cover your unreasonable hate of anyone different than you with faulty excuses. There is NO reason why same sex couples should be treated any different from ANY other people.

 

[WyrGecko]

I didn't vote. The choices are too simple.

It hasn't been studied well enough or long enough to actually come up with an accurate conclusion. The other issue there is that the scientist/sponsor will most likely to strongly skewed to either side.

Other than that, I'm pretty sure that two great homosexual parents are a hell of a lot better than abuse heterosexual parents. The "ideal" parental environment does not exist. You can't account for a child and parent's every action, reaction, and whatever else. Stuff happens. Another major issue for homosexual parents is not them, but the severe lack of support provided for them, which is likely traced back to the issue of proper studies being conducted.

There's little doubt that kids of homosexual parents will get crap from prejudiced kids who were taught to be close-minded, but most people will at some point in time. I'm sure that there'll be regret that stuff wasn't _ way, but that's the same for other issues.

 

[farscapeone]

That will never happen. You think that there has to be an extreme here. There doesn't have to be an extreme at all, the only thing that needs to happen is for straight and gay people to coexist peacefully. Otherwise, it's more than just discrimination, it's almost like genocide. Everyone that kills just because someone is gay is shallow, single-minded and thinks they're doing the world a favor by "getting rid of the garbage of society." THIS IS WRONG BECAUSE IT IS MURDER NONETHELESS! That whole question isn't even justifiable, if only for the simple fact that nobody can "become gay" or "become straight"...it's not a valid argument at all (sorry for bluntness but it just isn't).

WOW man, chill out! Who said anything about killing. We all have our own point of view here and that doesn't mean we will murder anyone. This thread is not about same sex partners, it's about same sex parents. We don't discuss gay population we are talking about gays adopting children. There's no reason for you to stand for gay population and there's no reason for anybody to talk against it ether. This thread is not about that.

EDIT: I just thought of another valid point after I posted. I will agree that everyone involved must make sure the child knows what they are getting into before even asking them if they wish to be adopted. But saying that same sex couples aren't allowed to adopt flat-out doesn't even leave room for the child to approach anyone with such a proposal. If the child understands what they are getting into and doesn't care because they still want to be in such a family, whose right is it to deny the child such a thing? You tell me, seriously, if the child agrees, how can anyone deny the child if they want to be a part of such a family?

Well, no offense but that's just stupid. If you're talking about 15+ years old children then that's maybe OK but how can a 2 year old decide? Come on be serious.

 

[spottybutterfly]

I havent read all the thread yet, but in my opinion its better for a child to have same sex parents, where they get the love and support of two people, than for a child to only have one parent.

And when people talk about gay parents fostering and adopting in my opinion its better for a child than them being stuck in a childrens home, being pushed around the care system.

 

[facepalm]

let them have children. at least they'll be good for something, with all their reproductive activity being just fudge packing and carpet munching.
and if it hurts a couple of kids, just a few casualties. at the worst, there will just be fewer people to worry about. and the money that would have been wasted on a couple of homosexuals will have a chance to be useful, invested in a child who may reproduce normally. allowing for biodiversaty.

what would be really useful, is find the homosexuality gene, and make homosexual in a syringe or pill or genes, for population control. maybe a secret government program. then make homosexuals adopt.

 

[Sammonaran]

WOW man, chill out! Who said anything about killing. We all have our own point of view here and that doesn't mean we will murder anyone. This thread is not about same sex partners, it's about same sex parents. We don't discuss gay population we are talking about gays adopting children. There's no reason for you to stand for gay population and there's no reason for anybody to talk against it ether. This thread is not about that.

Firstly, I was making a comparison. Second, I was a little irritated that day and have since cooled down and I didn't mean to make anyone feel bad or anything. Third, if you looked below that part you would've seen I was trying to get back on the original subject. Fourth, I didn't know if they were just making that statement to show prejudice or if they didn't mean to offend. I'm sorry, I guess I'm too emotional sometimes.

Well, no offense but that's just stupid. If you're talking about 15+ years old children then that's maybe OK but how can a 2 year old decide? Come on be serious.

Who said anything about a two-year old? I'm saying if a child (regardless of age) understands what they are getting into (I guess that means two-year olds can't decide then and thus can't be adopted) then the child should be able to be adopted. Say for example an eight-year old wanted to be adopted by two men. Who honestly can say that the child isn't allowed to be? I mean, come on, if the child agrees, the men agree, and the men are proven to be kind to pretty much anyone, then why object!?

 

[farscapeone]

It's cool I know you weren't really thinking about killing people (sorry I used that ). I just wanted to see your reaction :dancingna

I'm still against it :biggrin:

 

[reddy23]

having raised by two caring parents is far better than getting raised by ****ed up parents whom may or may not be of opposite sex.

thts all a child needs.