game: kill the above user

[alexandgruntz]

I then promptly shoot ichwar in the head.

 

[zen-r]

Of course, I'm still alive because ichwar didn't bother to state how he killed me.

To celebrate, I put a contract out on alexandgruntz - who promptly (why are we all using this word? ) gets tied, put in a sack with rocks, & thrown in a deep river. Splash.

 

[ichwar]

but by accident, you got mistaken for the rock, so you both are at the bottom of the river.

 

[zen-r]

So I pull the cord on my inflatable raft, which inflates, bursts open the sack, & rises to the surface with me in it.

I throw a car's emergency air bag system down ichwar's throat, slap him on the back, & it explodes & expands inside him. Messy!

 

[death180]

i take a butchers knife and cut open zen-r and take out his heart. i then replace it with a small 62gram piece of C4 explosives and light a 1,600,249,496,939,594 centimeter long fuse. and RUN LIKE A MUTHAFUC*ER

 

[alexandgruntz]

Since I managed to grab onto zen-r's boat, I managed to escape from the river. I went in a different direction to zen-r, so I was not affected by the explosion. Plus, the fuse is so long that the rest of us will die before it explodes, so I simply kill death180 with his username. :biggrin:

 

[zen-r]

My crack team of standby surgeons have managed to whip out the C4 in me & stitch in a new heart before I even noticed anything.

They then surgically remove alexandgruntz's head, dissect it, pickle it, & replace it with a lump of cheese. Lots of salivating mice start gathering around alexandgruntz.

 

[ichwar]

But when the airbag in me expanded, it just slid back up my throat again. It popped out and hit you in the head knocking you senseless. I then put you in cement overshoes and through you into lake Michigan.

 

[zen-r]

Ignoring the fact that ichwar back-tracked in his post, & I'd actually already had a heart replacement since the original airbag incident :

Luckily I wasn't thrown into lake Michigan, I was through, whatever that is! :biggrin:

So I take a hammer, & smash the cement shoes off from my feet.

Unfortunately, whilst I was doing this the hammer somehow also became embedded in ichwar's head, killing him instantly.

Luckily, my hammer wasn't damaged, & it cleaned up nicely. I was worried there for a moment.

 

[ichwar]

But as soon as you pull the hammer from my head, I come back to life again. I put you into even bigger cement overshoes and throw you into lake Michigan.

 

[zen-r]

Luckily I use the same brand of inexplicable magic as ichwar, & I magically return to land unscathed.

Ichwar then inexplicably turns into a bowl of custard.

 

[ichwar]

So zener immediately eats me and the acid in his stomach reacts with the custard in a way that the custard eats away at the acid instead of the other way around. So once the custard is finished with the acid, it starts eating away at the stomach, then the bowels, and it finally works its way out through zener's skin, eating zener up all the while. When it finally gets outside the skin and takes a nice long breath of fresh air, the custard turns back into me. I then promptly bury zener's dead remains.

 

[zen-r]

After plenty of sunshine, fertiliser & rain, zen-r grows back out of the ground.

Zen-r then turns ichwar into a dart-board & uses him as the main board in the international darts competition.

 

[ichwar]

But the darts bounce off me and I survive. I use you for the dart board and you get killed.

 

[zen-r]

Still stealing my killing ideas, eh?

Since the darts bounced off you, they bounced off me as well. My death was only a rumour spread by my friends who wish to help me deceive you. While your back was turned, I jumped back down off the wall, ran over & threw you into a potato chipping machine. I then fried the little pieces of ichwar in hot oil until crispy, covered them in Ketchup, & fed them to the hungry darts players.

 

[ichwar]

But the potato chipping machine was clogged, so I managed to climb back out and escape unscathed after you had already walked around the machine to the spout, so you just collected some potato chips, not Ichwar chips. Then I go and grab the hot sizzling frying pan after you've finished using it and bash you over the head with it again and again until your skull is just a sizzling clot of bloody pulp. YOU ARE DEAD!

 

[zen-r]

Unfortunately then, by your same approach, you had mistaken me for a potato & were bashing that instead. I am fine. The blood you thought you saw was actually only Ketchup.

And the pan you used to bash the potato was, as you confirmed, full of hot oil. This oil splashed all over you & fried you alive, till you resembled a crispy duck. I had your corpse confirmed as dead by an expert, then served to the darts players in slices with roast potatoes & cabbage.

 

[ichwar]

But there is only so much of me to go around, so I just whetted the dart players appetites. Once they finished me, they started in on you. They ate you ALL up.

 

[zen-r]

But I wasn't cooked so they spat me out again, whole.

You're still dead. :biggrin:

 

[alexandgruntz]

My head grows back and I nuke the universe, after I get out of it.

You're all dead. :biggrin: